therealraewest:

iamnotsebastianstan:

iamnotsebastianstan:

i was at the doctors today and there was a guy sitting behind me with his baby, and the baby starts crying in its pram and the guy just stands up, faces the kid and says “Come on now, don’t cry, you’re better than that”

also, someone else asked him how old his baby was and he said without even a moments hesitation, “he’s 36 he’s just got a height problem” and I’ve only just come to terms with the fact I’ll never say something that funny in my life

It high-key sounds like you stumbled in halfway through a comedy about a dude who’s friend got magicked into a baby

rhotdornn:

solidseq:

When you spy a hot elezen;

@ladyrivienne

@bhaldstyr-ahtahrmsyn

mikhasunthistle:

Source.

whitestagrising:

imransuleiman:

This is very much me. Like I will ride or die for you. Bring down heaven and send the earth for you because you mean that much to me. But I will also be really bad at communicating and keeping on touch. I’m like a cryptid or a ghost that loves in your electronic device but that makes you very powerful because you have the ability to summon me by just stroking a few buttons and then stand back because Momma Bear don’t play games.

probablybadrpgideas:

Halfway through the fight with the succubus, have the Tumblr mods show up and shut down the battle because of the female-presenting nipples.

hgk477:

1. If you start to feel drowsy it’s best to find a motel and sleep. But keep your eyes down.
   
2. Before picking up a hitchhiker check to see if they’re wearing shoes.
   
3. Occasionally you’ll stumble across strange radio channels. Don’t listen to anything they say.
   
4. Disregard what might appear in your mirrors.
   
5. If your car is suddenly low on gas exit the vehicle immediately.
   
6. If you see someone trying to fix their car on the side of the road get out and help. But don’t ask any questions.
   
7. The contents of your trunk may vary.
   
8. If a strange fog suddenly rolls in turn on your air conditioner. It’s looking for warm objects.
   
9. You may hear strange things from your radio. Remember that you do not have a radio.
   
10. When ordering fast food always avoid the drive-through.
    
11. Sometimes people appear in your backseat. Make idle conversation and don’t antagonize them. They’re just wondering.
    
12. Focus on your lane.
    
13. Check through your phone camera if the traffic light has really turned green; spirits like to deceive you.
    
14. Never turn on the windshield wipers. Get out and clean the window manually if needed.
    
15. It is perfectly acceptable to sometimes take strange dirt roads claiming to be shortcuts. Enjoy those routes. They’re never there for long.
    

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morstan:

i dont know when it happened but somewhere along the way “shipping” got a new meaning for younger folk that seems to translate to “i want these people together for real asap”. i think the media had something to do with it. but guys.

guys.

shipping absolutely Does Not mean demanding anything from people/creators. shipping isn’t about expecting and waiting for the day it will certainly happen. it is not a direct translation to Happen Or Die.

shipping means you like the idea of two (or more) people together. you like the concept. you find it fun to imagine the dynamics. you even create fanon content of it (fic, art, edits). it’s all in your head and it’s Fine that way.

is it nice to have a ship become canon? oh my god, yes. but that’s not what shipping is about and yall need to take a step back and breathe because being a jerk to people aint gonna change their mind about ships.

have a good night.

jehovahhthickness:

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

ritsykitty:

apocketuniverse:

me on monday: its going to be different this week!!! i wont get discouraged by small issues and i’ll stay on top of my work!!

me by 4 PM that afternoon:

I was like this by 8:30am